Wednesday, August 25, 2010

14th day of Ramadan

Budi Prayitno is a quite popular ustadz in the city of Bandung. I've got several podcast containing his speech about some several familiar topics. Last night he delivered a kultum at DT mosque and thankfully I went there. In that speech he told us two things – Allah's assurance and tips in marriage. The two of them are extremely important to notice for those who are now having “issues”, for me too :).

Well, Allah will for sure pretty much love the believers. The believers mean those who always do what Allah wants and forsake what He forbids. There are three things will be given by Allah to those kind of persons:
Allah will never let them alone. Allah will always be with them. They will never felt sad to much with this world as they already make Allah the only goal in their lives.
Allah will always grant their prayer. There is no obstruction between their prayer and Allah's grant of the dua.
Allah will always help them in difficulty. One of the ways we can do to get rid off the barriers in our lives in by saying “Allahhuakbar” - Allah is great. Compared to His might, our problem or handicap is nothing – exceedingly trifling.

The second point delivered by Ustadz Budi was the so-called tips to make our wedlock last long live. To ustadz Budi, a marriage is called a “sweet-jihad” as it is part of Jihad and it is sweet. Hm...I cannot disagree with him. Well, he actually took the sort of tips from a research conducted in the USA. There are 8 things we need to note here:

1.The strong commitment from the couple to always keep and defend their marriage. Their promise is totally important so that they have to keep the pledge to always together. Whatever the storm they face, they will never say no to divorce and maybe polygamy.

2.Two of them must have a realistic hopes or future wishes. No one is perfect, so we need to make reasonable hope from our couple. Wife's weakness is husband's strength, vice-versa.

3.Tolerable to our partner. It means we always forgive mistake made the couple of ours. A little mistake can sometime affect the longevity of marriage so that we also need to overlook every single mistake as much as we can.

4.Be smart in understanding the implicit meaning of our couple. When our partner say yes, it doesn't mean she or he is really okay with that. We've gotta know the body language or gesture practiced by her or him.

5.Must have a skill to compromise to each other. In other words, we need to own a good art and skill in managing our anger. As a good example, ustadz Budi told us about one couple of his students who promise to each other to solve and and end every problem they have no longer that the time of prayer. When they have problem at 7 am in the morning for example, they will have ended this before dzuhur prayer at 12 pm. What a good example, right?

6.Spend and find a particular time to just be together. A good couple is smart in making time to just 2 of them without anybody around.

7.Sex is important. Be genius in this kind of thing and our marriage will last long. In Islam, this husband-wife most intimate relationship is not just a media to satisfy the need or lust. But it is also an act of worship to Allah.

8. The couple must have an ability to solve every problem. It is totally vital to be owned by all couples who dream of having eternal relationship.

Well, I found myself impressed by the speech given by ustadz Budi. Hope you find it useful, too.

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